Ah, Spring Break…all the cheesy tag-lines that have been attached to it over the years come to mind …”Girls Gone Wild; Sun’s Out Guns Out; Fun in the Sun!” They conjure up images of clear blue waters, tropical islands, fancy cold drinks with cute umbrellas, beach volleyball, etc… And as I watch so many of my friends, and even my own children, head off on their southern sojourns this year – I take solace in the fact that I’m doing something much more interesting and exotic right here in CT.
My 2016 Spring Break will consist of: no crowds, very light packing of some comfy leisure wear and a great stack of books, room service in bed for every meal, an adult-only setting, all you can eat jello, unlimited ginger-ale, and free cozy socks with treads on the bottom. I will have the week off from childcare, maid service is included, there will be absolutely no whining or fighting over electronics, no cleaning or doing laundry, and it’s almost all expenses paid. I will not have to stress about losing that last 5 pounds to fit into summer cloths or worry about tan lines, sunburns or how I look in a bikini (no matter how “blubbery” my arse may or may not be – according to my son Luca). Oh, and I almost forgot the best part – the drugs! I’ve heard the drugs at this place are amazing. Like Studio 54 in the 80’s.
Ok, simmer down now. Before you go getting all jealous and clamoring to come with, I feel obliged to inform you of the admission criteria for this exclusive Spring Break package that is an invite only, solitary adventure. No “plus one” here. So, what is the small price of admission? To let two surgeons slice you open and play a rousing game of Operation over your comatose body. Loses some of its luster? Well, I realize it’s not for everyone, but a deal this great is not just going to be handed to you after all. You have to be willing to part with a few of your personal belongings (tubes, ovaries), and have one really important part of your anatomy reattached (colon). Fortunately, I am in the market for exactly all of that.
Following 3 surgeries in 7 weeks, 4 months of chemo, and 25 sessions in the fancy tanning bed (aka: Radiation), my wild and crazy destination for Spring Break 2016 will be at the… Hospital! While my kids are living it up in the warm Florida sunshine with our awesome neighbors – I will be having a raging party for one at el hospital. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men are being called in to put this Humpty Dumpty back together again.
And…since every really cool Spring Break apparently does need a great tag-line, I’m calling this one “Colons Gone Wild.” You don’t realize how much you appreciate that particular part of your anatomy until it’s busted. So give your colon a little thank you pat today if yours is still working properly. But as pathetic as this sounds, I actually really am looking forward to this insurance sponsored Spring Break. Like the true nerd I am, I’m beyond excited to have time to read. And since these past 8 months have been fairly exhausting, I’m also really looking forward to resting and regrouping. I’m hoping, like Stella did, to get my groove back. I have told my doctors, who laugh, shake their heads, and look at me sadly – really wishing I would get a life outside of the hospital, to bring their own tequila and fancy drink umbrellas because this is a break I’ve been looking forward to.
As fun as 5-10 nights in the hospital will be :), I really can’t wait to recover and get back to the amazing foundation work and exciting events we have coming up. We’ve met with the brilliant doctors at Dana Farber and MSKCC we will be funding – who are fully dedicated to accelerating treatment for metastatic breast cancer as quickly as possible – and have some great ideas for how to do it! I’ll be introducing them soon. In other great news, one of my favorite and most uplifting bands of all time, The English Beat, has committed to play at our fundraising concert September 10th 2016, and there are many more exciting events on the horizon.
I was just notified that I have been chosen as a NYC 2016 Ford Model of Courage and am looking forward to being on their breast cancer team. Needless to say, I’m ready to get this hospital stay behind me and come out re-energized and ready to continue my mission of raising funds and awareness for Stage 4/metastatic breast cancer.
Wherever you are, and whether or not you have a “Spring Break” of your own this year, I hope you get time to do the things you enjoy, get yourself re-energized by this awesome season of re-awakening and re-birth, and appreciate the beauty of Spring and all of your functioning body parts as well!
“Colons Gone Wild” Spring Break 2016 – Here I come – I already have the uniform!